The Grand Gesture
My friend, we'll call him Natt*, called last night to get my thoughts on him making a trek like 10 states away to try and win back the woman he loves. Sweet, right? Well she's kinda dating someone. He told me I'd know if he went by posting a certain line from a movie on his blog. "I gotta see about a girl"
So of course this has me thinking about the grand gesture and how it only happens in movies or when a guy is proposing. Proposals aside, do women want that? Or do we want a lot of little gestures that are more consistent? It doesn't seem like very many of us experience both. I think the grand gesture can come with a price. Say he makes this trip, she dumps the current boyfriend for him and they get together. Will his expectations now be too high? Will the phrase, "I drove across the country for you" always be in the back of his mind?
He and I had quite a long conversation about this potential trip. I told him that I wasn't going to give advice on whether to go or not go. When it comes to stuff like this people usually already have the answer but need someone to talk them in or out of it. But, being the good counselor/listener that I am, I asked a ton of questions. I think I even managed to bring up stuff that he hadn't considered.
I'll let you know. The cynic in me is guessing he doesn't go. The romantic in me hopes he does. The friend in me hopes his heart doesn't get broken.
*Names have been changed to protect the lovelorn
So of course this has me thinking about the grand gesture and how it only happens in movies or when a guy is proposing. Proposals aside, do women want that? Or do we want a lot of little gestures that are more consistent? It doesn't seem like very many of us experience both. I think the grand gesture can come with a price. Say he makes this trip, she dumps the current boyfriend for him and they get together. Will his expectations now be too high? Will the phrase, "I drove across the country for you" always be in the back of his mind?
He and I had quite a long conversation about this potential trip. I told him that I wasn't going to give advice on whether to go or not go. When it comes to stuff like this people usually already have the answer but need someone to talk them in or out of it. But, being the good counselor/listener that I am, I asked a ton of questions. I think I even managed to bring up stuff that he hadn't considered.
I'll let you know. The cynic in me is guessing he doesn't go. The romantic in me hopes he does. The friend in me hopes his heart doesn't get broken.
*Names have been changed to protect the lovelorn
posted by UhLisa | 7:38 AM
5 Comments:
Wow, that's tricky. The grand gesture might work, but that's going to put an immense amount of pressure on the two of them. Does she actually live 10 states away from him? Is either of them willing to move to be together? I think the long-distance thing is really, really hard to make work. Distance would make me worry more than the efficacy of the grand gesture.
Yeah, that's true. He would definitely get the point across that he cares if he drove over there to see her. But that distance thing is going to be a problem. And the fact that she's got a new boyfriend is hard, too. If she's told Natt to leave her and this new guy alone, he should respect that.
I too am concerned about the part that she has seemingly gotten over Natt and now has a new boyfriend. That says something in itself. And also, if she leaves the new boyfriend for Natt, who's to say she wouldn't ever leave Natt the same way.
Wait a minute, am I getting this right? The new boyfriend told the girl's best friend to tell Natt that it's ok for him to talk to her? Either this new boyfriend is incredibly secure or he's an idiot.
Well, for crying out loud, if this is going to start a fight between Natt and this new boyfriend, now may not be the best time to drive over there. Nothing like getting your butt kicked over summer break...geesh.
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