Kero-whack!

I'm wearing a black turtleneck sweater today. I'm wearing it with a cute grey skirt that flares around the knee. My hair is up in a high ponytail. Perfume Pat at work said I look like one of those beatnicks from the 60s. Oooohkay. Ok, I did sort of do the mod eyeliner so I'll give her that. I don't remember seeing pictures of too many beatnicks walking around with ponytails but whatever. I look cute and that's all that matters.

We have a cadet that resigned in lieu of facing an honor trial. She has to do some paperwork in here before she can leave. Typically the cadets show up in the PT gear or their standard uniform. This chick is in jeans, a half shirt and has her belly ring showing. Classy. Her jeans are too tight and too low. I guess she wants to give the guys one last glance at her muffin-top before she goes.

Wow, that sounded catty.

I love my parents

My parents crack me up. In the past couple of weeks they've rented stuff like Wedding Crashers, 40 Year Old Virgin, and Hustle and Flow. I suspect that my dad REALLY enjoyed Crashers and Virgin but wouldn't let on that he did in order to spare my mom. She liked them but was offended at most of the sexual stuff. They LOVED Hustle & Flow and were urging me to run out to Blockbuster to get it. I never thought my parents would be suggesting a movie about a pimp turned rapper.

KC girl

My dog uses the carpet as a giant napkin. I know that's pretty standard dog behavior but it still makes me chuckle. First she just pushes her face all over the carpet. Then she'll stop suddenly, look at me with this very alert look and her beard will be all crazy with the hair going all over the place. It's just really cute. It's a good thing I don't care about the carpet. It'll get pulled up in a couple of years anyway.

So I used to work with the high school girls at my church in LA. I'm still in touch with about 4 of them. One of them I talk to, if not every day, every other day. I don't know if I've already mentioned this but her family is going to be on a reality show. It's this show that features a celebutante (I refuse to call her an actress) and her ex-best friend. That probably gave it away. Apparently they're shooting at their house in 2 weeks. Should be fun. I've never known someone who was on TV. That's not true, I was actually on TV once but it was a blink and you'll miss it. Anyway this will be the first time I know someone on national TV. Sure it'll be on E! instead of Fox but I bet some people will tune in. Plus you guys will watch her episode, right? She has a funny family. Her dad is about 5'2" and her mom is about 5' even. Her dad drives a big yellow Hummer and her mom drives a Mini.

I hope that dang celebutante and her ex don't mess up the very positive and life changing impact I've had on this girl (stop laughing!). I really don't want her to pick up that lifestyle. She's very pretty and fun and prone to bad behavior. Ugh.

It's so worth it...

God is giving me mixed messages today. Two boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts appeared in our kitchen. Just out of NOWHERE. I was in there and nothing. I go back in 10 minutes later and BAM!!! Krispy Flippin Kremes. There are only a few Krispy Kremes in the Charleston area and none of them are really convenient to where I live or work. Ok, so after some discussion with Perfume Pat, we decide that if they're on the counter in our little break room, they're fair game. I go to open the box and wham, a paper cut. Am I being punished for wanting a Krispy Kreme? I have a headache and I know one of those things would do me some good. The irony of it is that I had pulled out a yogurt but didn't get a chance to eat it. So I was returning it to the fridge when I spotted those two boxes of yummy goodness.

So I got to shake the hand of a presidential hopeful. Good looking guy. I could visualize him as president. If not 2008 (nothing personal but we're in need of a non-Republican), then go for 2012. And if those aides of his are single...

My feet smell

They only smell in these shoes (I SWEAR!!!) so I think I'll buy some of that deoderizing stuff for these shoes.

Oh and I get my picture taken tomorrow to go in the yearbook. Now I have to pick out an outfit. Today's outfit would have been good. Oh well. Crap, this means I'll have to wash my hair again tomorrow.

And finally, I have such an interesting job that I just dusted a model of the Stealth Bomber. Apparently our president flew it on occasion. I dusted because the governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney is dropping by. Dusty models do not a good impression make. I feel like I was channeling Yoda just then.

Immutable

I'm sleepy. Can I go home now?

I go through the mail at work and took this cool looking wire bookmarky thing out of a packet that Aramark sent (they're our campus food service). It's copper colored and a cute little swirly guy and it looks like he's got a star in his hand. Very cute. Well I wanted to put it somewhere but I can't figure out where. I tried tacking it to the wall and that was a no-go. It won't stand or lean. Maybe I can stick it in the potted plant next to my desk. Yeah, that might be the best bet. There's already a snail in there but I'm sure it'll be ok with him.

Wow, what the hell am I writing about? I need lunch.

Oh and I've made some smallish mistakes at work but today I was pleased to know that we can all be forgetful at times. I openend a letter and towards the bottom it mentioned an enclosed check for $400,000. Um, there was no check in the envelope. I SWEAR!!! So I called the guy's office, spoke to his assistant who immediately realized that she had sent it without the check. Tee hee. Now I've forgotten to include attachments once or twice but a check of that size, that's a doosie.

The local station does a two-fer Tuesdays. Now, with that really long Green Day song that's out, two of their songs last a good 20 minutes.

Never happens in real life

I hate watching TV because it's so far from reality. For instance, Grey's Anatomy last night. There is this incedibly sweet, adorable intern named George. George isn't as gorgeous as the other guys on the show but he's so cute in that brother or best friend way. George has been in love with this other intern Meredith since forever. That actually makes George less appealing because out of all the characters, Meredith is the least likable (and it's kind of her show). Anyway he finally got the courage to tell her how he felt. She was vulnerable at the time and he said exactly the right thing, "I'd never leave you. I'd never hurt you. And I'll always love you." So she pulled off his shirt and the camera panned down leaving us to assume they started to kiss. According to the preview of next week's show they sleep together.

Now this stuff probably does happen. Meredith will regret it because she's in love with the married doctor who she can't have. All their friends will hate her for using George. George will be hurt but will still hang on to hope.

Why do we want what we can't have? But then why do some of us settle? Is anyone ever completely well matched?

Wow...

I can't believe it's been 10 years since Swingers came out. That makes me feel old.

He's gonna go far...

There's a pretty notorious cadet here with a mind for ingenious tasks. Tasks guaranteed to get him punishments. Thankfully he's written this stuff up for the campus newspaper so I can relay it properly.

First was the installation of a satellite dish his sophomore year so the seniors would have good reception. He spent many hours crawling in the ceilings, laying tons of cable and then installed a dish on the roof.

Next came the revamping of his room. He stripped the wood floors, and stained them with a lovely mahogany and finished by adding polyurethane for extra shine. He then painted the furniture black and left the wood tops. He could have left well enough alone but no, he went yet another step and rid his room of the "institutional flourescent lights that were killing the ambiance of the room." So he installed track lighting that was even controlled by a dimmer switch. He even went so far as to install out-of-view air conditioning and placed art on the walls. It lasted a full four days before he was busted and I think he'd say it was worth all the tours he got.

Oh, tours are a marching punishment that almost every cadet gets around here. I'm actually friends with one cadet who hasn't gotten any which is quite impressive.

Anyway his excessive tours gave him another idea. It used to be that cadets could try to use an ear bud attached to a hidden music device to make the walking time more enjoyable. That was stopped. As most military, they walk carrying a fake rifle. The aforementioned cadet bought an extra rifle, stuck his iPod in the stock and wired a tiny speaker at the top so it'd be right by his ear. He calls it the iRifle. He even published pictures and diagrams of how he did it. The only thing that gave it away were the controls at the bottom of the rifle where you hand holds it. Word of the iRifle spread and it got to his commanding officers. Yup, it was taken away so now he's helping other cadets fashion iRifles of their own.

Genius.

I need to stay in bed

I feel like I'm falling apart. I fell outside of Home Depot and got a nice big bruise on the top of my foot. Then last night I managed to get a big cut right on top of my bruise. Maybe I should just cut the foot off and be done with it.

Not much planned for the weekend besides moving stuff from one house to the other. I'll watch Olympics, take my dog for long walks and maybe run to Target. Fun.

I had two of my four favorite cadets in my office yesterday. Actually they both pulled up chairs and sat right on either side of me. One of them walked in and looked shocked that the other one was sitting right next to me without anyone else in the office. So I told him to pull up a chair as well. I was kind of joking but he did it anyway. These two guys are the only cadets on campus who don't call me ma'am. I love them for that. Even the hobbit calls me ma'am. I'm going to start calling him sir now.

It's going to be 72 degrees today. But then it's going to rain again tomorrow and go back down to the 50s. Very unstable weather.

Tee Hee...

I ran into the hobbit a lot today. Once was a total psychic moment too. I thought about him and there he was. Very cool. I looked at him very closely and had no idea what it was about him that I find attractive. I think I'm bored and just need a guy to crush on. Plus it's safer to crush on him than any of the cadets, right?

I showed my mom a pic of him on our website. Now I never told her that I call him The Hobbit but one of her comments about him was, "He looks like one of those little guys from Lord of the Rings." She's sharp!

I'm hungry and I don't think there's anything to eat.

I'm going to paint my bathroom either 'Wickerware' or 'Banana Split'. I don't like bananas so I'm leaning more towards the 'Wickerware'.

I was overwhelmed by the tools

It was pretty rainy on Saturday and against my better judgment (and succumbing to my urge for Chick-Fil-A) I ventured out in my parents' trusty wagon. I am happy to report the brakes on the wagon work just fine. The woman in the SUV in front of me almost hit the woman in the car in front of her. And because of all that braking, I almost hit the esuvee that almost hit the car. I made it to Chick-Fil-A just fine and I have to say that chicken sandwich tasted so much sweeter after a brush with death (Ok, a brush with having to pay lots of money to the insurance company and body shop). I headed towards Home Depot and besides a yahoo trying to run a yellow light, made it there without incident. Ok, let me preface by saying that as soon as I left my car I realized I was wearing the wrong outfit. I had on long fleece pants (kind of PJ pants) and flip flops. But at the time I was more concerned that the pant cuffs were going to be soaked. The traction on the bottom of my flip flops never raised a red flag in my head. I was leaving Home Depot after a successful trip to get paint chips (painting the bedroom and bathroom) and down I go. I pop back up as soon as possible and keep walking. I have a hurt right foot (ligament tear most likely) and a gash on the top of my right hand (just at the base of my pinky finger) which would be odd but I was holding the paint chips in my right hand. I have a scraped left knee and scratches up and down both legs. Bruised ego? One might think. But no, I fall enough that I can just laugh it off now. The sad thing is that I popped back up and headed straight to my car so fast that I think I left some paint chips behind.

The DM Effing V

Actually it wasn't so bad. The lady helping me couldn't quite get her act together and I suspect a few things in the computer aren't typed correctly but whatever. I'm no longer an illegal driver. They didn't even charge me a fine for registering wellllll after 45 days of living in the state. Sweet.

I'm officially a resident of the state of South Carolina. I was going to just type "great" state of S.C. but I laughed right out loud when I thought of it. And, I filled out the motor voter. I may even vote in the next election.

SC is one of those states that only requires you to have a plate on the back and not one on the front too. So I'm leaving my California sunset plate that says UHLISA on the front. My parents have a station wagon here and I think that for a gift, I'm going to get them a plate for the front that says "The Family Sportster". Anyone? Anyone?

What the?!?!?

Do you ever wake up with a song in your head but you have no idea why it's that song? That happened to me this morning. I hadn't heard the song the day before. I don't remember my dreams so I'm not sure if it was in there or not. But dang it if I didn't wake up with "The Neutron Dance" by the Pointer Sisters in my head. Bizarre. Maybe my dog, KC, was humming it and I picked up on it.

Um...

I was thinking of what I wanted to post and now I can't remember. Dang.

Yay! I remember. It's been getting below freezing at night so in the morning my windows are all frosted over. This morning I was struggling with getting them de-frosted so I resorted to scraping the windows with what turned out to be a decent substitute for an actual ice scraper. I used a hula dancer air freshener. It's cool too because her top half and bottom half (are supposed to) move separately so it looks like she's dancing. It never reallly worked so I didn't feel bad using it this morning.

I guess I should go to the store and invest a few bucks into an actual scraper.

"I believe you have my stapler"

I want a new stapler for my desk. I'm really tempted to get one just like the guy in Office Space.

Heh

I dreamt that Keenan (or is it Kel?) from SNL (also the guy who played Fat Albert) was married to Giada (Everyday Italian) from Food Network. Odd.

No Flippin Way!!!

Oliver North's phone number is in my Rolodex. He is good friends with our former president but I never thought that, while flipping through the numbers in my inherited Rolodex, I'd come across his number.

And no, you can't have it.

Once More With Feeling!!!

Yup, cause I just haven't moved enough this year. My dog and I are leaving Goose Creek and returning to Summerville. I've weighed the pros and cons and for now, I think this will work out very well.

There's a very good chance KC will be returning to sunny California in April after Easter. We'll see how it goes prior to that but I have a feeling she'd be happier back in LA.

I'll be able to start going to church on Tuesday nights with local people my own age. I'll be more free to go on weekend trips. I'll be helping my parents out with their mortgage instead of my roommate's with hers. I can splurge and join Netflix. Plus I'm going to talk to my boss about maybe working 7:30 - 4:30 three days a week so the drive won't be too bad.

I feel good about this. I feel like it's a good decision. I feel like things will be a bit better. And if not, I'll just move again.

Saweet!

I've been complimented twice on my shoes today. They are pretty cute too and I'm glad to know that others have taken notice. The best part about it? I got my shoes at Walmart for $14. Wait, can I admit that I shop at Walmart with all that bad stuff they do to employees? Ok, I bought them at Walmart before those reports came out, I swear!